Miss British Citizen

No, I haven’t won any beauty contests.  This is about the issue that is my name.  Thanks Parents.  Portia is a problematic name in most countries, in most languages - hell, even in the UK - but no one, not even the Japanese, seem quite as thrown by it as the Colombians do.  They look at me with blank stares every time I introduce myself.  The poor Porteros when I visit friends, gulp nervously before they have to announce me.  “Si señora, hay una Puche? Pochi? Yes, a gringa with big hair. Si....”

At the doctor, I almost missed my appointment , because they were shouting for a Miss. “Miss? Miss?! Miss ISABELLE!”. Oh right, that’s me.  The lady decided Portia and Hart were too much, so elected Miss and Isabelle instead.  Which isn’t that unusual I suppose, given that most Colombians have two forenames and two surnames.  There’s an argument for not putting titles / salutations on ID’s. 

The biscuit though, goes to the Bogota Chamber of Commerce.  Setting up a company (for El Pescador de Colores) was a big day for us. Several round-trips between the Notary, the lawyer and the Chamber of Commerce later, and we were told our all important Registration document would be ready within 24 hours.  With this magical piece of paper, I can apply for a visa, and my life in Colombia, as well as our business, can officially begin. 

I wasn’t sure whether to laugh or cry then, when I finally clutched the holy grail of Colombian paperwork in my hands a day later, only to read where my name ought to be: Co-Gerente: Portia Isabelle BRITISH CITIZEN. 

Back to the drawing board on that one then... In the meantime, no visa for me.