From A to B, via C (or Maybe D)

This is the bus that will take me from Honda to Manizales.
Things to note:

1. Yes, that’s my bag, and yes, it is bigger than all of the available free space in the bus.

2. I have another bag. I just haven’t let on yet to the driver.

3. Never mind, his solution is to squash all the other bags to a pulp to fit in my monster (Ryanair hostesses take note). Hope no one had any breakables.

4. That’s a bin liner just next to my bag. Everyone here travels with one. Or two. Even the woman I saw earlier, who was bussing around Colombia in a leopard-print onesie and high heels.

5. I have no idea if this is the only / best / fastest / safest bus to Manizales. The system here is to go to the bus station, pick any company to begin with and continue down the line of booths (usually at least 10-15) until you find a company that is a) going to your destination b) has a bus departing soon (today) c) has space. It is important to check ALL THREE of these points separately before buying your ticket.

6. Forget trying to find times, fares or even routes on the Internet. Hahaha, silly foreigner.

7. This is a second leg of a longer journey. For the first leg, I had to hail the bus in the middle of nowhere and then ask where to change. Obediently I descended where told and went to the ticket booth only to be instructed to get back on the same bus. The man who told me to get off asked if the bus to Manizales had been cancelled. ‘No idea’ I reply ‘but that bloke told me to get back on your bus’. This did not satisfy him. Before letting me back on he appeared to want an in-depth explanation of the Colombian transport network today. So no one seems any better informed than I am after all.

9. The slogan of my current bus company is ‘so much more than you imagined’. Which is odd, because I’d imagined a full size coach with air-con, seat belts and as many seats as there are passengers. Hey-ho!

(10. The big buses here offer all of the above, and if you’re extra lucky, a dubbed Sylvester Stallone movie on repeat.)

11. Wifi sticker is for decoration only.