Binary Spanish

Forget the complex AVE grading system. There are in fact only two levels of Spanish.  Either you "Hablas español" or you "No hablas español". 

Your grade depends, not on your spoken ability or mastership of the subjunctives, but simply whether or not you understand your interlocutor, (with all his slang and regional accent). 

Unless you ask (a lot), very few Colombians I have met amend their speed or vocabulary to accommodate idiot foreigners.  They are more likely to launch into English (even if it is far worse than your Spanish) to get around the problem.  It really seems as though they genuinely don't know how to slow down.  Back to the TV shows to get my ear in, then.